Distraction: What Would Chuck Norris Do?

Hilarious. Go read the full list if you're interested, or just check out my favorites...

• Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.


• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


• Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.


• Chuck Norris' penis is so large that it actually warps the fabric of space-time. Indeed some physicists now theorise that the passage of time is mearly a byproduct of Norris' colossal erections. This is known as the "Chuck Norris' big cock theory of space-time".


• The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.


• Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.